A gentleman never gives offense unintentionally. I can’t possibly know exactly what offends you so I am always at risk of insulting you by accident. To preempt that error, I shall just go ahead and offend you now on purpose. Just fill in the blanks yourself. Whatever it is that you are sensitive about, please consider it said and/or done as of this moment. You are now intentionally insulted. I know you must feel deeply hurt, upset, and angry. I feel much better though. Thank you.
